embarassing sunburn & tan lines?

I stayed out in the sun too long and got a sunburn :-( and even worse the tan lines weren't even cute!  WHY didn't I wear a sexier bikini?!  So I scoured through the internet for a hack to fix my problems... (which was frustrating as Hell because I'm allergic to aloe and everyone's #1 suggestion is aloe. EYE. ROLL.)   Here's a photo of my bikini bottom/hip area :-( you can see it's RED and blistered ---->

Fun fact: aloe is in the same plant family as garlic and onions LOL garlic makes me feel sick (and I think it tastes like wooden pencil), and I HATE onions. Now that I know these plants are all related it makes perfect sense! Crazy, huh? 😂 #TruFax

1. BURNS- how fast does Neosporin work on normal burns?

because I was slathering it specifically on the big red spot up top of my bikini bottom... 2 days later there was no change :-(

 

 

2. PAIN- a 'hack' told me to marinate in Noxzema (cold cream for you face) and that felt good/cooling... but the minute I rinsed it off I was back in pain and still red. Another 'hack' told me to soak cotton balls (or washcloths) in milk and put them on the super burned spots... ok, but it didn't say if I'm supposed to rinse off afterwards(?) I assumed no rinsing off and after an hour I smelled funky and felt gross.Washcloths soaked in witch hazel, on the other hand, had a very nice cooling effect :-)

I also read about taking oatmeal baths or pressing black tea bags against your skin, but I didn't try those.

 

MOST IMPORTANT NOTE I HAVE FOR PAIN= I took a maximum strength pain reliever every few hours, aspirin also helps with the inflammation :-) White willow bark is supposedly a more natural form of aspirin but I haven't tried it *shrug*

 

3. REDNESS- supposedly tomatoes will remove the red from your sunburn... so first I cut a tomato in half and rubbed it all over my body LOL I am such a hippie! I stood in the bath tub until the juice dried and tomato seeds were stuck in every inappropriate place possible(!!) and then rinsed off. This is ridiculous! I found some Yes to Tomatoes bodywash at Ross and tried marinating in that next. OKAY we're done with this hack, it's not working! You know the color when hamburger beef goes bad? It's red but with this brown/grey overcast-- that was my skin :-p abort mission!  >.<

Another 'hack' told me to spray my body in vinegar HAHAHAHA NO! I can't smell like that, sorry.

 

4. SOOTHING- ok so by day 3 my skin was getting tight and painful (preparing to peel, oh joy!) A few 'helpful hacks' suggested different oils for sunburn so I picked up a few oils: grapeseed oil, arnica oil, lavender oil, and coconut oil. So I mixed these up in a little bottle (mostly the grapeseed with a few drops of everything else) and massaged my entire body. I smelled so good! It massaged right in and dried rather quickly, so I repeated every couple hours. Anica oil helps reduce swelling and pain. This did NOT prevent me from peeling however, grrrrr! BUT while rubbing this massage oil in, some skin did gently rub off without hurting so that was nice :-) Good hack!

Another 'hack' told me mix a couple drops of tea tree oil in olive or coconut oil- HAHAHAHA NO! I can't smell like that, sorry.

 

Many 'hacks' suggested Vitamin E *sigh* ok I'll tell you why this is a fail for me. The vitamin e oil never dried/soaked into my skin. And trying a punctured vitamin e capsule & rubbing it on- well that felt thicker sticky and gross, still did not dry & there was no way I could put my clothes on after that. I will never do that again! Gross! I read that Aloe is high in vitamin e and that is why "aloe is so good for sunburns"- but aloe has NEVER worked on my sunburns! so I'm not surprised vitamin e is also worthless to me here

5. PEELING- time to exfoliate my ugly, damaged body *sigh* in case you didn't know: shaving your legs is great for removing dead skin cells so if you do that (gently!) then you won't have to worry much about exfoliating them :-) for the rest of my body I bought some scrub gloves. At first I used my bodywash with the gloves (St Ivea Oatmeal & Shea Butter, it's good for dry skin) ...but frustration= eventually I was just using the gloves dry rubbing across my peeling skin and making a huge mess just to make the nightmare end!! it was like grating cheese or something :-) AHHHHHH!

[just as a sidenote here: don't think you can scrub your tan lines off lol I tried and all it did was cause damage *sigh* more damage that needs to heal so more time your body will be miserable]

One PAINFUL 'hack' I encountered was to use an AHA cream... Don't Do This! glycolic acid is exfoliating and will eat away at the dead skin- but when if you accidentally touch any fresh skin IT BURNS!! and the pain is not worth it.

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1WEEK LATER: my sunburn has healed into a nice tan :-) And now I will use Malibu "Hemp Golden Glow" ($5 at Walmart) to keep my tan glowing as long as possible. I use this lotion year-round for a healthy glow so I highly recommend it. I rub it all over my body after showering, and then again on my legs before bed [because I shave every day and that fades leg tan fast!] And make sure to wash your hands with soap and clean between your fingers or else they might turn orange, haha